This is one of my favorite adoption quotes. As we are faithfully on our journey to grow our family, I am reminded of a lot of things. Some good... some quite painful. If I sit to long and think about what has to happen in order for our family to grow it pains me deeply.
As excited as I am... I also ache deeply for "Her/Them". "Her/Them" is our next Birth Momma/Birth Family. The truth of the matter is that in order for our family to grow, She will have to experience a tremendous loss. Our joy will come at the expense of someone elses. Someone whom I already love a great deal. I've seen a lot of pain in my life, but nothing like the pain I've seen of a woman sacrificing her own body and heart for the sake of her child. It's a very beautiful pain.
I ache for her. I ache for her and I am glad that I do.
When we adopted our sons, a lot of crazy emotions that I didn't enjoy crept up on me out of nowhere. Feelings of jealousy, resentment, envy, insecurities, etc. Being an adoptive Mom was emotionally harder than I thought it would be. As I was battling crazy feelings on my end of our triad, they were also battling pain in their own way. As crazy as it sound though... we were able to heal a lot of each others pain.
One thing I love about OPEN adoption is the opportunity to see growth.... to see her pain turn in to joy. Early on in our Open Adoption plan we ALL had to make a choice. Pain changes you and we had to make a choice. We had to choose to either let the pain get the best of us and run OR choose to stick it out through thick and thin especially on those super hard days and make the pain useful. It required communication, always giving the benefit of the doubt, and a determination to find our strength through our pain.
We are human. We had bad days. We just had to make sure we didn't unpack and live there on the sad days.
For me on my end... they were my motivators to help me conquer battles I had struggled with my whole life. Never in my life had I come across anyone whom I cared about SOOO much that made me want to overcome so many of my weaknesses. I had a choice to make in the beginning. I could either have let my jealousies and insecurities get the best of me OR push past the hard and learn how to embrace the beautiful. By choosing the second option I not only got to keep my relationships with our Birth Families but also grow in areas I have wanted to grow in for a long time.
They were worth fighting for.
On their end.... they fought battles too. To what degree, I know not... but by us working together through the HARDEST times of our life we built a firm foundation for our growth. These relationships I have with my Birth Mommas are forever in my eyes. Like a marriage all most. I adopted them too... not just the child they placed with us. I will always be fiercely protective of them and be there for them any way possible. They are my mine. Yes... I claim them.
When we adopted our sons, a lot of crazy emotions that I didn't enjoy crept up on me out of nowhere. Feelings of jealousy, resentment, envy, insecurities, etc. Being an adoptive Mom was emotionally harder than I thought it would be. As I was battling crazy feelings on my end of our triad, they were also battling pain in their own way. As crazy as it sound though... we were able to heal a lot of each others pain.
One thing I love about OPEN adoption is the opportunity to see growth.... to see her pain turn in to joy. Early on in our Open Adoption plan we ALL had to make a choice. Pain changes you and we had to make a choice. We had to choose to either let the pain get the best of us and run OR choose to stick it out through thick and thin especially on those super hard days and make the pain useful. It required communication, always giving the benefit of the doubt, and a determination to find our strength through our pain.
We are human. We had bad days. We just had to make sure we didn't unpack and live there on the sad days.
For me on my end... they were my motivators to help me conquer battles I had struggled with my whole life. Never in my life had I come across anyone whom I cared about SOOO much that made me want to overcome so many of my weaknesses. I had a choice to make in the beginning. I could either have let my jealousies and insecurities get the best of me OR push past the hard and learn how to embrace the beautiful. By choosing the second option I not only got to keep my relationships with our Birth Families but also grow in areas I have wanted to grow in for a long time.
They were worth fighting for.
On their end.... they fought battles too. To what degree, I know not... but by us working together through the HARDEST times of our life we built a firm foundation for our growth. These relationships I have with my Birth Mommas are forever in my eyes. Like a marriage all most. I adopted them too... not just the child they placed with us. I will always be fiercely protective of them and be there for them any way possible. They are my mine. Yes... I claim them.
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