The Art Of Photography

A few weeks ago my dear friends Cheryl and Presley came to visit us. We decided to get crazy and take some interesting photos. Enjoy!

Monster House!

This week I had some good friends come visit me from my home town in Texas :-) It was a lot of fun!! We did some fun and interesting stuff to say the least. 

Some Picts Cheryl took on her phone of us :-)

Here is one I took.....

She is soooo easy to photograph!

So I am pretty sure we found the creepiest house in America.... This is the official "Monster House" we decided. It was just randomly on the side of the road and had to check it out!

We were both kind of creeped out to go inside but the suspense is killing us so we are planning to take a trip back sometime. 

We also went and saw Les Miserable and holy awesomeness.... I loved it! I wish I could sing but since I can't I will just enjoy the voices of those who can. Presley, Cheryl, and I made lots of food, ate lots of junk, got pedicures, and had a good ole time. It was just what I needed :-)

Trying my hardest to make this a habit :-)

NEW TRADITION!

So every few months I want to start interviewing my kiddos.... well when they can start talking :-) Enjoy my hilarious sons interview!! You will love it!!

Remember....

Just loved this and had to share :-)

Happy Trials :-)

"A quality life is God's greatest wish for us. Life is to be lived well in what every circumstance we find ourselves. There should not be a waiting period."

Often in my life I have come across the "why me", "if only", "how come", "it's not fair", and the "I just don't get it" thoughts. This year I have made it a GOAL to become a better...happier version of myself. In doing so I am teaching myself to think differently about outcomes, pain, and doubt. Over the years and though the woods of my trials I have accumulated a lot experience in several areas of life. Why?? is a question I have asked God and myself many times when I was in dire need of answers. Why was that circumstance necessary and why did it have to happen to me?  Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often came in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When trials were not consequences of my bad choices, I know it was evidence that God felt I was more prepared to grow. To get me from where I was to where He wanted me to be required a lot of stretching, and that generally entailed discomfort and pain. I know trials are necessary to teach me and test me but I also think part of the test is to see what I make of those trials later on down the road. Am I bitter in the midst of a trial or do I try to find the lesson in disguise? There is ALWAYS something to learn from trials. God isn't just bored and picking on me for the heck of it. He is shaping me into someone. 

I am a deep thinker. I have a very good emotional, empathetic memory.... meaning, I may not remember the details of circumstances, but I remember how things made me feel. I am also a very extroverted demonstrative person. I am very open with my feelings and I am not afraid to share them. Truth is sharing them is extremely therapeutic for me. Because I am this way.... I have realized the "why" of so many hardships I have had myself or experienced with others close to me. Yes to grow, but also so I can use those hardships and the knowledge I've gained from them to help others.... in a very positive way. Everyone needs someone and when you are in the depths of despair, what better to have than a friend thats been there. I am not a therapist nor an expert on the way things should be. I am however a walking example of what is possible....of what hard can become. 

Happiness is a choice. Forgiveness is a choice. Choosing to not be offended is a choice. Saying the first "Hello" is a choice. Making these choices every day brings me peace. I don't do awkward well. If I feel tension in the air I try to address it. If I am unclear about something I do whatever I can to understand it. I pick a lot of brains because I don't want to jump to false assumptions. Relationships with people I love are important to me so having a secure, healthy line of communication with a solid foundation is important to me. 

So taking the positive approach has been so GOOD for me. Looking for the lesson, learning from the past, and embracing for the future has changed my life. All by simply changing the way I look at things :-) 

"What?... You Too?"

I love friends... all of my friends!! I have friends that bring out different sides of myself and friends that I know were a gift from God to me when I needed them the most. I have friends that I share certian things with that I don't share with others.  My Bestie Friend Jammie recently wrote a blog post titled "What? You Too?" She too is an Adoptive Mom and has been my rock sooooo many times on my adoption journey. She is not only my best friend... but my safe place. I have cried to her, vented to her, laughed with her, and shared with her many things that I would never feel comfortable or safe sharing with others. Why?? Because she gets it. There are so many things Adoptive Moms experience that others just wouldn't understand even if they whole-heartedly tried. So please take time to read her blog post and maybe it can help you understand the road I travel or the road someone close to you travels :-) Thanks Jammie for your awesome post!

JAMMIE'S POST CLICK HERE!

When Daddy Comes Home!!

Every single day when Brett gets of work, he calls home to let us know he will be home soon. Every single day when he calls to let us know, Sawyer gets his shoes on, coat on, and sometimes his umbrella, and heads out side. 

He sits in a little gray chair and waits in the driveway for Daddy to come home... hot or cold.....rain or shine.

Sometimes his Bubby joins him. 

They have a good time. 

Daddy's Home!!

Daddy LOVES it!!!

Best Pals!

 There have been a few times where Daddy has had to work late so Sawyer would take a coloring book and his crayons and lay on the ground by the back door until he saw Daddy's headlights. 
Moments like this are so awesome! I know how much Brett loves seeing his boys waiting for him to arrive home. Heart and soul little buddies :-)

Closing Infertility.... Opening Adoption

I have been asked sever times "When did you know that it was time to stop infertility treatments and start pursuing adoption?"

Every adoptive Mom you ask will have a different answer as to how they came to that point. The is no one size fits all answer. So as for my answer, well it didn't just come overnight. Adoption was something that I always wanted to do since I was a young child. I remember watching "The Sound of Music" (which btw is my FAVORITE movie) and thinking how wonderful it was that those kids got to have a Mother again. When I got married and was ready to start my family, Brett and I decided that we were going to have a few kids and then adopt a few. I wanted a big family... like to VonTrapps ;-) After a few years of trying to get pregnant we finally went and saw a specialist... then another.... then another. Every doctor told us the same thing...you are both perfectly healthy and we were finally diagnosed with unexplained infertility after a negative salpingogram, a painful diagnostic surgery that showed nothing, and after trying the fertility medications.  We tried a couple IUI's and spent thousands of dollars on failed procedures. Everyone tried to offer their 2 cents on what worked for them and that didn't help. (Note.... if you have a friend struggling with infertility..DON'T DO THAT!) To fill my need to nurture...we got a couple dogs and just waited for the answer to come to us.

Courtesy: Ashley Mauldin Photography

 It was devastating and while I was dying inside everyone around me was getting pregnant like nothing. I was angry, frustrated, mad at God, and felt hopeless. I felt like starting a family was a very righteous desire so I didn't know why I was being "punished". I still to this day don't know medically why we are unable to have any children. Brett and I saved up enough money to try the in-vitro route, met with a different fertility specialist, and set a date to do in-vitro. When the day came to start the drugs to get my eggs ready for harvest, I just felt sick inside about doing it. I just felt like this was all wrong. So we rescheduled for the following month and when that day came that sick feeling came back. My mom flew in from out of state to be with me and still I couldn't go through with it. Everyone told me I just had cold feet and to just go through with it but deep down inside I felt like it was all wrong. I prayed and prayed and questioned God as to why I felt this way. I didn't want this anymore. It didn't make any sense to me.  Earlier that day my cousin brought over a little girl that she nannied. She was adopted. I looked at this little girl and thought to my self how lucky she was to have the life she does. She was born in Mexico (I think) and could of had a totally different life if she hadn't been placed for adoption. That whole day I kept thinking about her but the biggest factor that got me thinking about adoption was this: What is more important to me.... being pregnant or being a Mother?I wanted to be a Mother more than anything else in the world. 

Courtesy: Facebook/ Open Adoption, Open Heart 

I was ready and wanting to pursue the adoption route but I didn't even know where to begin. I knew it would take effort and more waiting but I was willing to wait.  The day I canceled the appt for invitro the second time I started looking whole heartedly into adoption. THAT was what felt right to me. THAT was what made sense to me. I didn't feel forced or pushed into this. It was not my last option, it was my destiny. It took me a long time to realize that infertility is not a punishment. It was a blessing in disguise for us. My body was designed this way for a reason. My body was designed for Lauren (Sawyer's Birth Mom) and Amy ( Jamison's birth mom.) When Sawyer was 18 months old we felt a strong feeling that we needed to get our profile in and adopt another baby. 3 months later we were chosen by Jamison's birth mother to be his parents.

If you are struggling right now with trying what to do next....I know right now is hard. It's painful, embarrassing, isolating, and super frustrating. Adoption took time to come into my mind. It takes courage and faith... lots of it!  In my infertility journey, adoption was something that was always in the back of my mind but fear got the best of me. Seeing others get pregnant so easily made me think that I could become a Mom as easy as they did if I tried harder or was a little more valiant. I was afraid of adoption and the unknowns. I didn't think I was grown up enough or rich enough to handle adoption. I didn't know if I would be able to love a child as my own that I didn't give birth too. Once I dug deeper and got over the fallacies of it all, everything feel into place. It was the right path. I can honestly tell you that YES you WILL love adopted children as if you gave birth to them.... as if they were your own.  My boys are mine. Even though I do have open adoptions (meaning I keep in contact with their birth families) I am their Mother and they are my sons. Adoption is not as scary as you think. It is actually a very beautiful thing and quite amazing!! 

Adoption is one of the hardest commitments you will ever make. You have to go into it knowing you WANT this.... not that you are out of options. It will be an emotional roller coaster but a well worth it ride in the end. 

  

Sawyer (3) & Jamison (1)

2013.... My New Way To Live

Goal: The object of a persons ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.

This year I am going to set some goals. A lot of goals! Some easy... some not so easy. So the list begins.......

1) eat a really expensive food.

2) Surprise my hubby with random date nights.

3) Write in the boys journals. Just the cute stuff they did that day.( I bought 3 journal. One for each boy and one for our next child. Even though our next child isn't here with us yet, we still think about him/her and want him/her to know our thought about them before they even got here.) 

4) Ride on a fan boat in the swamp.

5) Save an animal. * this one gets a star ;-)

6) Become great friends with someone 85 or older. 

7) Learn how to knit or crochet.

8) Vlog more.

9) Blog More.

10) Hang out with my bestie from the Westie!!

11) Sell something I make.

12) Read a book for fun cover to cover.

13) Detox

14) Meet a survivor of something awful.

15) Learn how to fry a tortilla correctly.

16) Learn how to jar tomatoes or peaches.

17) Use my adoption knowledge for something amazing.

18) Wear lipstick more!

19) Write a poem.

20) Watch Honey Boo Boo.... shut up.... that show is hilarious!! 

21) Love my self more.

22) More chicken... less beef.

23) Call my brother Joe more. 

24) Bond with my Birth Moms and Birth Dad :-)

25) Have greater faith. 

26) Be more patient. 

27) Love someone who angers me.

28) Gain some confidence!
29) Find a piece of trash by the curb and make it beautiful again.
30) Make one new meal a week. 

I know it's a lot.... but hey... ambition is a good thing :-)