Looking for Milk Donors : )

As most of you know, our family is going to be growing really soon!! Soon being December 11th! Most people have asked if we were freaking out trying to get everything done to prepare for a new baby in our 2 weeks whereas most people have 9 months to prepare. The truth is we are not really worried at all... about anything.... except what we are going to feed him. 

I have spent the past few days trying to think of just how I am going to word this post. It is a very near and dear post but I don't want it to come off as offensive or try to make anyone feel guilty or obligated in any way. Before our son Sawyer was born, I had read different ways on how a woman can induce lactation without giving birth to a baby. I tried every way and gave it my all but I had no success. To some, breast milk isn't a big deal but for me it is. The fact that I didn't even have the option to provide that for him was sad for me. I felt like I was already starting off motherhood on the wrong foot not being able to provide him with something that I know to be so good for him. I started looking and asking around for other ways. Then my Aunt told me about women that donate milk to other babies. She herself had been a milk donor to a local milk bank a few years earlier. She told me how some women just over produce and the rest needs to go somewhere. But how exactly do you know who overproduces and who doesn't? It's not just something you go up to a lady with a baby and ask her. After lots of thought and prayer I was led to looking online for a donor and sure enough I found one! Through her I found another one and then more and more people found out and I got a few more milk donors. It was a lot of work and a lot of flying across the country to get it but it was so so so very worth the work for me. Sawyer was able to make it an entire YEAR on donor breast milk! I never in a million years expected him to make it that long on BM but we are so so so grateful!

Deacon and his Mommy Jeni donated to Sawyer. 

When I started looking into breast milk for him, I didn't realize how much time and effort it takes to be a donor. One of his donors, Jeni, that lived out of state, spent countless hours, restless nights, tons of dish washing, loads of milk bags, loss of space in her freezer, etc, all for my son. I will always feel indebted to her and all the other amazing ladies that donated to my son. I am truly grateful for every drop! I had no idea how much effort it takes to be a donor for someone else. Knowing that, I feel so so guilty for asking someone to be a donor for our next baby but at least I know it's possible. 

 I've gone back and forth about trying to find a donor for Sawyer's little brother. Of course I want it desperately for him, but at the same time I am feeling a huge amount of guilt asking for it. I love this little baby just as much as I love Sawyer so I have to at least try. So if by chance you are a Mom with an oversupply and you have extra to spare, we will gladly take any drop : ) His tummy will be very thankful for any drop! 

Blowing a Heart : )

We are not expecting a year supply by any means so don't feel like if you donate a little that we will expect more. 1oz is better than no oz. Some people think we are crazy for feeding our child someone else's milk but I don't see whats so weird about it. People donate blood to others all the time and thats not weird. 

Things have changed since Sawyer was born so flying out of state to go pick up milk is not an option for us anymore. Therefore we have to ask locally or at least within driving distance. So if you or someone you know has some spare milk that they are willing to part with, please let us know. We will gladly pay for any bags used to store it it : )

Lots of Love, 

Brett & Candace

Sawyer's Milk Donor - Lucy

I had heard that adoptive mothers can sometimes breast feed their adopted babies if they take a hormone called domperidone. As soon as I heard this I was at my doctor's office as fast as I could so I could start taking the drug and get a milk supply going. At the doctor's office I was told that this drug is no longer approved in the United States and if I wanted it I would have to get it from Canada. This was a devastating blow to me. I have a career in the medical field and so I know how beneficial breastmilk is for babies. I was feeling so sad that I would not be able to provide something so nutritional to my future little baby. I called around to various mother's milk banks to see how much it would cost to purchase it and I was told it would be about $4.50 per OZ. That is crazy expensive. There is nothing wrong with formula feeding, it's just that I know how much healthier babies are when they are able to aquire antibodies in mother's milk that is not in formula. I am very big on natural or organic foods as well. I also didn't want to ask Sawyer's birth mother for it because I know how hard it would be for her still being in high school all day every day and I thought it might be hard emotionally for her also. She's already giving me the greatest gift I've ever wanted, I can't be greedy.

One night I was at work and I was feeling particularly sad about not being able to provide this for him and I thought to myself, if I was to ever miraculously give birth to a child, I would find an adoptive mother or a mother that was unable to breastfeed and I would donate my milk to her. That thought would not escape my mind and it replayed itself over and over. To some women it probably would not have mattered if their child had formula or breastmilk, but to me it does matter. Missy Booker, one of my co-workers, noticed my gloominess and asked me what was going on. I told her my dilema and she brought up a very good point. Suppose there was someone out there that felt the same way I did about breastmilk for my baby that would be willing to donate to me. I knew their had to be but where the heck would I find someone like that. It's not something you just randomly ask someone. Then I didn't know if she was joking or not, but Missy suggested I look on craigslist. My first thought was NO WAY! I can't feed my baby someone's milk that I don't even know. There are way to many crazies out there and I didn't want Sawyer to get some kind of disease. Missy encouraged me to just give it a shot and look anyways. So I did and guess what, I found what I was looking for.

It was an add posted in big letters saying "DONATING Breast Milk". I couldn't believe my eyes. The add was posted by a lovely girl name Lucy Eades. She had donated to a family once before that had adopted a baby and now she wanted to do it again after she had her 2nd child. She had already been a regular milk donor to the Mother's Milk Bank of North Texas so she had already been screened, tested, and approved to do so. She also included that she was a non-drinker, non-smoker, and non-drug user. When asked why she would donate, her reply was, "I am very passionate about pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding. Besides why not help a baby in need if I can?" Lucy produces crazy amounts of breast milk and has an over active let down. Her son refuses all bottles and so all the extra milk she makes she donates. It was kind of late when I found her ad and so I was anxious to call her the next day. She had just posted the add 5 days earlier.

I called her the next day and left her a message. She called me back a little later and we talked for a while. I told her I was adopting a baby and I told her how I felt about wishing I could have breastfed my little baby. She made it clear in her add that she would not donate to just anyone so I even wondered if she would do it for me. I don't know if she could just sense my desperation or what, but she told me she would donate to me. All I had to do was send her the bags to fill. She didn't want any money. I was so relieved and extremely grateful at the same time.

We became friends on facebook and myspace and she has taught me so much about motherhood and babies. She would send me updates on how much she pumped and so I knew I was going to need a bigger freezer to put it all in. Brett and I had a deep freeze that my mother had given us when she moved and I had just given it away about 2 weeks earlier. It had sat in my garage for a couple years and we never even turned it on so we gave it to someone who would use it. I was mad at myself for doing that but there was nothing I could do. I went back to craigslist to see if anyone in the area was selling a deep freeze for a reasonable price. No Luck. We looked online and went to different appliance centers to find one within our budget. No Luck. After a long day of searching with still no luck we just gave up and decided to spend the money and get a brand new one again. We were on our way home when I heard from a long time friend, Sarah Vickers that I hadn't heard from in a while. She was wanting to sell the deep freeze in her garage to buy a new laptop for school!! I couldn't believe it. It was small like we wanted and in perfect condition! We got a great deal on it too. I was again so grateful.

It has been over 2 months since Lucy has started donating to me and my freezer is filling up quickly with food for my baby. She has donated me over 732 oz's of milk so far. That is enough to feed Sawyer for a whole month straight on breast milk alone. I never ever thought she would be willing to donate me so much. I was thinking she would maybe donate me a few bags that I could give to him one feeding a month for some antibodies here and there, but never this much. She will never ever know how much this means to me. I thank God for her every day. I know it is a lot of hard work and sacrifice on her part. She has been my reminder that there are still some very good people out there. I think I needed to feel the sadness and guilt of not being able to provide milk for Sawyer for a reason.  I had to know what it felt like so I make sure I help someone else not feel that same way someday. If I ever give birth to a child, I will definitely pay it forward as Lucy has done for me. I'm sure my little baby won't mind sharing his lunch with someone else just like Lucy's Kacen has shared his lunch with Sawyer. Lucy may not realize it, but I will always consider her a very dear friend. We were total strangers and now she will be a part of my life and Sawyer's life forever.

My message to all breast feeding moms: Next time you look at your healthy little bundle of joy, the same one that looks into your eyes every time you feed him/her and then falls asleep from the full belly you gave them, remember us adoptive mothers. I know I'm not the only woman out there that has had to feel like they are starting off motherhood not being able to provide something so nutritious for our little baby. We wish we could. We wish we could have peace of mind knowing that our little one could go to the grocery store or a meet and greet and not worry so much about our baby getting sick from having a weaker immune system. If it wasn't for Lucy's generosity, I would still feel that same sadness. Lucky for me, I don't anymore. Thanks Lucy : )