Imagine if you will... the moment we first met. Not here on earth, but before this life. I know this may sound a bit crazy but you and I both agree, when we met each other, “We just knew”. Why is that do you think? Were our souls reuniting but our minds couldn’t comprehend it? Lets go there for a bit. Let's dig a little deeper and expand on the "what if". Say we did know each other before this life. What was the first day like? Did we meet in passing and become instant friends or was it more of a casual introduction that grew over time. We must have shared some common interests and were passionate about some of the same things. We must have trusted each other a lot and respected each other so much to maintain the amazing friendship we created. I’m sure we laughed together, cried together, and carried each other when needed.
What do you think we were doing the day adoption came up? Was it causal, a challenge we accepted, or a deal we made? Did I devastatingly share with you that God told me I would be barren on earth? Did you plea for my case to find a way when the plan of adoption was presented? If so..... you must have loved me tremendously. To carry a child and lovingly share him with me so I could experience Motherhood. You must have loved me a lot to knowingly come here and be willing to go through so much pain so I could have a chance at happiness. If so... thank you for keeping your promise. Another possibility could have been that maybe these children were originally meant to come to me. That the original plan was for me to bear them like most other women out there. But when the news came to you about your plan on this earth, maybe it didn’t include areas of joy and growth you desired to become everything you intended to be. Joy and experience that could only be obtained by becoming a Birth Mother. If so.... I must have loved you tremendously. To agree to be barren if it meant greater things for you, then it was worth it. I must have loved you a lot to knowingly come here and endure the constant struggles of infertility without ever know why I’m broken. Maybe I was your “Just in Case” and you knew I would be there if you ever were in a jam. Or maybe you were mine and I knew you would be there if adoption was my only solution to eternal happiness. Maybe adoption was our only way to learn things of importance. Of spirituality. Of faith. Of giving. Of loving and accepting love.
Maybe it was none of these reasons. Maybe its all of them.
Maybe it was the boys idea. Maybe they approached us with this glorious plan, smiled with their dimples, and maybe we agreed. They needed us both. They brought us together so together we could love and raise them to become greater than the rest. Maybe the boys couldn’t just settle for being friends, they had to be brothers and this was the only way.
We are necessary for each other. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here today. If you weren’t meant to be in my life, maybe my children would have come to me directly and you wouldn’t have accepted the calling of being a Birth Mother. What ever the plan was, I am grateful. We must have invented the pinky promise and set our lives up in a way that our paths would cross. Our bond was so great there that we had to make sure it carried over to here. Good news.... we made it. We listened, prayed, and painfully followed through. We are stronger and wiser than was originally intended for us. We didn’t settle for mediocre lives and we expanded far from the obvious. We are becoming extraordinary and we are becoming the version of ourselves God intended for us to be.
I look forward to the day when we know the truth behind our “1st” introduction. To see how all of this really came about. You are one of my best friends and I look forward to the day that we can comfortably pick up where we left off. I love you a ton. Thats a pinky promise.
Candace
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