After many years of hurt, frustration, and what we thought were unanswered prayers, our lives are about to change in a way that I thought may never be possible. Many years we struggled with infertility. It was disappointment followed by devastation over and over again. We spent thousands of dollars and went to numerous doctors to try to figure out why we were unable to have a child. Every doctor we went to told us the same thing, "You both are perfectly normal and healthy". We had every blood test possible, many different radiologic procedures, and I even had surgery to try to explain this problem. Yes, Surgery! They have to rule out EVERYTHING and they did. We went to different fertility specialist and tried different procedures and they all failed. We decided we would save up the $10000 dollars and have our final attempt and trying to become parents. The doctor we met with was one of the top 10 in the nation so we had high hopes. He has an 85% success rate and that was awesome. We set a date to start taking the hormones and we were excited to try this new journey together. When that day came, I had a really bad feeling about it. I was so confused. I couldn't understand why I had these feelings after wanting this for so long. I prayed long and hard about it but the answer was still NO. We decided we would put it off for another month and see how I felt about things then. When a month passed and it was time to start taking those hormones, the sick feeling came back. I was so frustrated and mad! "Why now", I thought. Brett and my mother tried to convince me I was just getting cold feet but I knew it wasn't just that. I was so sad and felt absolutely hopeless. It wasn't fair. One night I was extremely upset about passing up my opportunity to do this because it just didn't make any sense. I kept flashing back to 2 weeks earlier when my sweet cousin brought over a little girl that she babysits that was adopted. I looked at this darling little girl and thought how lucky she was that she gets to have such a wonderful life all thanks to a loving birth mother that wanted her to have a life she couldn't give her. Then I started thinking about all the tons of children that need homes. I had to decide if what I wanted was to be pregnant or be a mother and the answer was, to be a mother. Then it came to me, I knew we needed to adopt a child.
We always talked about adoption, even while we were dating. We just thought it would be later on down the road. All those years of trying to get pregnant I knew that adoption was an option but it was not a path I was ready to go down. I viewed adoption as giving up and an admission of failure on our part. I was uneducated on the subject and so I fought the idea. I had my foot pushed firmly against that door. I didn't know if it was because I was afraid of the unknown or if the thought of the millions of obstacles I would have to face to adopt intimidated me. I still not sure what it was that led me to have the change within that I needed to decide to adopt. Was it just time, was it just defeat, or was it God helping me see things through a whole new window? What ever it was, I am indeed grateful for.
The very next day after we got the courage to start our adoption journey, I started checking out various adoption agencies. It's amazing how expensive some agencies are. When I found a good, promising agency we scheduled a time to meet with a social worker to help us finally become a family. On the phone with him I asked him how long it usually takes a couple to find a match with birth parents. He told me usually around 2-4 years! I was so sad to hear that but I wasn't just going to give up. I was full of strength and I was going to find a way to make us a family even if it was going to take us 4 years. He also told me sometimes people find their own birth parent by getting the word out to everyone they know and that might know somebody who is looking for a good family for their baby. I just knew that if and when it's meant to be, it will happen.
Right away we decided we were going to immerse ourselves in adoption and learn as much as we can about it. We decided from the beginning we wanted birth parents that we could relate to. We wanted them to know the real us. Not some doctored photos and cliché profile. We wanted them to know the un-edited true Brett and Candace. We also wanted to do an open adoption. I did a lot of research and found open adoption to be to most happy and healthy for all parties involved. I didn't ever want our baby to have unanswered questions. I also couldn't bare the thought of a birth mother always wondering if she made the right decision and never getting any closure. I didn't want her to wonder every time she sees a child in the grocery store if that could possibly be the child she gave up. To us, we see adoption as a very self-less thing. For birth parents to give up a child so their baby can have a better life is the absolute most loving, self-less thing in the world. How do we have the right to be selfish with the baby she gives us?
We always talked about adoption, even while we were dating. We just thought it would be later on down the road. All those years of trying to get pregnant I knew that adoption was an option but it was not a path I was ready to go down. I viewed adoption as giving up and an admission of failure on our part. I was uneducated on the subject and so I fought the idea. I had my foot pushed firmly against that door. I didn't know if it was because I was afraid of the unknown or if the thought of the millions of obstacles I would have to face to adopt intimidated me. I still not sure what it was that led me to have the change within that I needed to decide to adopt. Was it just time, was it just defeat, or was it God helping me see things through a whole new window? What ever it was, I am indeed grateful for.
The very next day after we got the courage to start our adoption journey, I started checking out various adoption agencies. It's amazing how expensive some agencies are. When I found a good, promising agency we scheduled a time to meet with a social worker to help us finally become a family. On the phone with him I asked him how long it usually takes a couple to find a match with birth parents. He told me usually around 2-4 years! I was so sad to hear that but I wasn't just going to give up. I was full of strength and I was going to find a way to make us a family even if it was going to take us 4 years. He also told me sometimes people find their own birth parent by getting the word out to everyone they know and that might know somebody who is looking for a good family for their baby. I just knew that if and when it's meant to be, it will happen.
Right away we decided we were going to immerse ourselves in adoption and learn as much as we can about it. We decided from the beginning we wanted birth parents that we could relate to. We wanted them to know the real us. Not some doctored photos and cliché profile. We wanted them to know the un-edited true Brett and Candace. We also wanted to do an open adoption. I did a lot of research and found open adoption to be to most happy and healthy for all parties involved. I didn't ever want our baby to have unanswered questions. I also couldn't bare the thought of a birth mother always wondering if she made the right decision and never getting any closure. I didn't want her to wonder every time she sees a child in the grocery store if that could possibly be the child she gave up. To us, we see adoption as a very self-less thing. For birth parents to give up a child so their baby can have a better life is the absolute most loving, self-less thing in the world. How do we have the right to be selfish with the baby she gives us?
what agency was the adoption im planning to adopt later on.. i can have kids but i just want to 2 and i thinkin of tiein my tubes but i dont kno later on if ill want another one.. it because of heath issues
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