4 Month Update : )

Well a lot has happened since I last wrote on here. Sawyer is of course 4 months old : ) He is 16.5 lbs and 27 inches long. He's a big boy! He has learned how to roll over and I actually caught the first roll on camera! Here is the link to see the video. http://www.youtube.com/user/candacefrandsen I was a little excited as you can see. He is loving his toys and loves learning how to use his little hands. He has traveled on 10 airplanes and visited 7 states already.

On our last journey, we went to Nevada to pick up some milk from one of Sawyer's milk donors. She donated 2250 ounces of milk to Sawyer! I am sooooo incredibly grateful for her. Jeni had been pumping for about 2 months for Sawyer and storing it until I got there. Since birth Sawyer hasn't had any forumla, only breastmilk from his donors. Jeni is actually coming here next week to bring another 1000 ounces and all the milk she pumps while she is here she is going to use to help me make organic baby food. I did try to feed him some rice cereal on his 4 month birthday but he wasn't to impressed with it.  Here is the video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqYg5xLttto .

We saw Sawyer's birthparents 3 days ago and had some fun with them. We took lots of pictures and just had a good time. They were a little more comfortable this time than the last time I guess because this time, they knew what to expect. I wanted to take lots of pictures so I can make Sawyer a "Who I Am" book that will help him understand from a young age his story. I got that from idea from another adoptive Mom friend of mine.

Emotionally I have been doing well. Sometimes I will let my thoughts get the best of me, but thank goodness for amazing friends and family that are so supporative of me and remind me that everything is going to be ok. I have learned that when you adopt, you need a great amount of support esp from other adoptive Moms. It's nice to have someone to go to that completely understands how you feel and assures you that what you are feeling is normal. Also, it helps to have a good relationship with your childs birthmom that you are comfortable enough to talk to about your concerns.

One issue I had was if it bothered Lauren to call myself Mom infront of her. I knew the only one that would know that answer would be her, so I just asked her. For some reason I felt that if I called myself Mom infront of her it would upset her, like I was some how stealing that title from her. She assured me that it doesn't bother her at all. That was a big relief. She told me that sometimes people will ask her where her baby is and she will tell him that he is "with his Mommy and Daddy". I thought that was cute.

I know that these first few months are still raw for Lauren and Jason and Us so I try to be sensitive to their feelings but sometimes I think I may be overly sensitive and worry about nothing. People say things to me that make me question my own judgement and make me wonder about my ways of doing things. I have been told by people that I am going to ruin Sawyer's life by doing an open adoption because all it is going to do is confuse him when he is older. I have been told that no matter what, I will never be his "REAL" mom and that he will always see Lauren and Jason as his parents so I shouldn't get to attached and just accept it that way. Oh and here is my favorite, I need to prepare for Sawyer to leave when he is older because he will always feel like his place is with his biological family. When I hear stuff like that or read emails from people I just have to remember that these are just their opinions and most likely they have no idea or clue what adoption is even about. All their views are dumb and selfish points of views in MY opinion. I trust myself and I know I am doing the best thing for my child. That is what a real Mom does. I wouldn't want things any other way.

On a happier note, I feel so bonded to my son. I absolutly love how the second he sees my face, he lights up and gives me a huge smile and even some giggles every now and then. I work the night shift and when I come home in the mornings it is so hard not to wake him and see his cute face. I only work 2 days a week, but those days are so sad without being with my son. He drools like crazy and pulls my hair. His poop stains his clothes and mine and he loves to make the biggest messes when we feed him. However, I don't mind a bit and I wouldn't change any thing about him. I thank God for him every day : )

Oh , I amost forgot, Sawyer has a new friend : ) Meet Sarah!  She too is adopted! Her Mom is amazing and the person who helps and understands me the most. She is an amazing Mom!! Who knows where this little relationship may go some day ; )

How are Sawyer's birth parents doing? Find out for yourself. http://www.adoptionadventuresjl.blogspot.com/

Thanks for reading and much love!

 -The Frandsens-