2 Month Update : )

Well Sawyer is offically 2 months old now. I can't believe how fast the time has gone by. I absolutly LOVE my son in every single little and big way possible! A lot has happened in this past month so I got a lot of catching up to do. Since I last posted on here, Sawyer and I have been bonding so much. We are learning each other pretty well. I have discovered what his different whimpers mean so I can easily know what he is wanting. I have learned his favorite sleeping position and how much he likes to eat at different times of the day. I have learned how to make him smile and sometimes even giggle. I know he loves it when I sing to him (esp. the ABC's). I know he doesn't like to wear socks and I am positive he got that from Lauren. LOL He has learned how to follow my voice and make eye contact with me. He lets me know he is hungary by licking his little lips and he loves to watch me do things. He is so smart! When he starts licking his lips, I will take him in the kitchen with me while I prepare his bottle. While watching me prepare his bottle, he will stop licking his lips because he knows that his lunch is on it's way.  Oh and I also love his hair right after a bath when it dries in a fro. He's a doll!

I have also been good emotionally for the most part. I went and visited my family and it was so hard to leave. Brett had to stay here and work so that was a bummer also. My siblings and my step-dad got to meet Sawyer for the first time. They all hogged him from me for the most part. He also got to meet some of his Aunts, Uncles, and, Cousins on my side and Brett's side of the family.

 He is so loved. Sawyer also got to meet Brett's dad and Brett's Grandmothers and we spent christmas eve afternoon together. Sawyer loved all the attention he got from everyone.

We also got the opportunity to go see Jeni and Deacon Prokop. Jeni is Sawyer's other milk donor. She donated over 1300 oz's to Sawyer. We will be going back at the end of February for another pick up. We are so grateful for Jeni and also for Lucy for introducing us to Jeni. Lucy and Jeni are best friends but have never met. However, their milks have met and have both been in Sawyer's belly and diaper at the same time. Thanks gals!

Jeni and Lucy's milk met.

We all went up to the Frandsen Family cabin in Scofield Utah and Sawyer got to snow mobil and sled for the first time. It was so stinkin cute!

Now I will tell you my emotions on being a adoptive mom. When I look at Sawyer I no longer think I'm his"adoptive mom". I am just mom now. And he is not just my "adopted son " anymore;  he's my son. Yes he was adopted and I don't pretend that he wasn't, but I truly feel as if he was mine from the beginning. I talk to Lauren often and I absolutly love it! She has made this whole process a million times smoother than I could have imagined. I will text her things that I know most people wouldn't care about but I know she would. Most people wouldn't care to know that he kicked off his little sock at the store, but she would. She hasn't seen Sawyer since his birth but she is going to real soon. I am looking forward to seeing her and Jason a lot.

I think about her and Jason all the time. I wonder how they are doing with everything. As an adoptive mother you always wonder if your child's birth parents are still at peace with the decision that they made or if they have any regrets. My biggest fear is that they will regret placing Sawyer with us. You wonder if you are doing enough to help them cope with pictures and videos or if you are doing to much therefore not letting them let go and move forward with life. When you get there, I have learned to just ask them. When you know they are hurting, you still feel like the bad guy.  It's like you can't breathe until you know you have their blessing type of thing. Maybe it's different for other adoptive moms but for me that's how it was. I am most at peace when I know they are at peace. I hurt when Lauren hurts and I wish I could take the hurt away and hurt for her so she doesn't have too. She is sooo amazing and doesn't deserve to hurt. One thing is for sure, Sawyer will know how much his birth parents love him always.  

I don't know why but when people tell me how cute my baby is I always feel the need to tell them that Sawyer is adopted. I feel like I can't take the credit for this beautiful little boy. I'll tell you something, he is an excellent conversation starter. Once people know he is adopted, they just start asking millions of questions. They find open adoption so rare and interesting I guess. (Hopefully we can change that.- the rare part) I like sharing my experience with them and then tell them to look at the blog for more details ; ) Would I recommend open adoption to someone else? HECK yes : )

Oh and I have been asked if I will adopt again any time soon and the answer is- I can't even think about that now. I'm focusing only on Sawyer for a while. I don't see how I could ever love another child as much as I love him.

Lauren and I are using our blogs not only as a tool to educate people on adoption but also as a mechanism to help us deal with our emotions. We lay our feelings out there for your benefit. These are the things we wish we would have known were normal before hand. Please forward it to anyone you know that might be interested in adoption. We don't know who all reads this but comments are much appreciated. We are from Texas- Where are you from?

How is Lauren doing after 2 months:

http://www.adoptionadventuresjl.blogspot.com/

The most loved little boy in the world.