Adoption is all about love.

The day finally came and I thought it never would. I am going to try to answer all the questions I've been asked over these past few days the best I can. First off I want everyone to know the purpose of this blog is to educate people on the wonderfulness of adoption. Sawyer's birth mom and I feel very passionately that God has led us to each other for many reasons and one being to share our experience with others that may have misunderstandings or negative views of adoption. My blog is open to the world and we hope that maybe we can help a young girl who may be contemplating abortion because she feels there are no other options for her. We figure if we can save at least one babies life, then all this is worth it.

Adoption is all about love. Adoption is also not how it used to be. Lauren and I have decided to do an open adoption over a closed one. The adoption agency we worked through are doing less and less closed adoptions because they found open adoptions to be more beneficial to everyone involved. Closed adoption is when the birth parents sign over their rights with out every meeting their childs new adopted parents and agree to never see the child again. Open adoption is a plan in which the birth parents and adopted parents form a relationship and the birth parents will still be in the childs life. They may not see the child every day but they will get updates, pictures, and videos often and even see the child every now and then. The amount of contact between all the parents is established by them and based on what feels comfortable for everyone. Open adoption has been proven beneficial to help the birth parents and the child because it doesn't leave anybody wondering what if or why and provides closure.
Brett and I wanted to do an open adoption from the very beginning of our journey. We didn't want our child to have any question of why he was placed for adoption or wonder what his birth parents were like. We wanted him to have closure and peace of mind getting answers to all his questions. We attended an adoption conference recently that had a panel of birth mom tell their experiences. All of them did an open adoption and all of them were very much at peace with their decision and wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I asked some of them if they regretted their decision and all of them quickly responded 'No, not at all." They knew they couldn't raise their baby they would have liked to and they wanted a better life for their baby. One girl knew that in order for her to raise her child she would have to put her child in day care all day so she could work to support her. The thought of that sickened her. She wanted her child to be raised by 2 loving parents that would give her baby the life he/she deserved. Some people view adoption as an easy way out but in reality it isn't at all.
In order to adopt a child, potential adoptive parents have to be thoroughly interviewed by social workers, have a home study, background checks, FBI fingerprinted, complete medical screening, adoptive parenting conferences,etc. Not just anyone is a good candidate to adopt a child. Brett and I spent about a month filling out paperwork and doing our screenings. They not only want to know about your life but all of your extended families lives also. Another thing you have to do is to create a profile for birthmothers to see. I didn't have to make one because I already knew my birthmother and so it wasn't necessary. Once the adoptive parents are chosen and the birth parents relinquish their rights, the adoptive parents still don't get parental rights. When Lauren and Jason signed over their rights, they signed Sawyer over to the agency. Brett and I are on probation for 6 months after the papers are signed. The agency will come do several check on us to make sure we are bonding with Sawyer and everything is going ok. After 6 months, Brett and I will hire an attorney to finalize the adoption in court and the agency will sign Sawyer over to us. That will be when we can get his name changed and get his social security number and such. Many people have asked me how much everything costs. It all depends on the agency and race of child you are wanting to adopt. I know that sounds crazy. At some agencies, sawyer would have cost anywhere from 30-45 thousand dollars. The agency we used was one a non-profit agency through our church so we were able to get it for a lot less expensive. Since our church does not have a paid ministry, all the tithes goes directly to building churches, helping the needy, adoptions, etc. The fee for our adoption was 10% of our previous years gross earnings and no greater than $10,000. So, even if your a billionaire, the adoption would only cost $10,000 max. The agency pays for all of Laurens medical bills, hospital stay, ect. Anything that has to do with her and the baby they will pay for. If there are complication with the baby after he is born before Lauren relinquished her rights, the adoption agency would pay for his bills; thank goodness he was so healthy : ) Some baby's have cost the agency many many thousands of dollars. If a birthmother changes her mind and decided to parent the child, she would not have to repay the agency a dime. They also provide birthmothers with attorneys if they want one when signing papers free of charge. The birth parents have to wait 48 hours after birth before they can relinquish their rights but once they sign the papers, there is no turning back.
I will write a new blog soon about our hospital experience. It was so spiritually beautiful. I discovered a new type of love for so many people. Keep your comments and questions coming. I will be glad to answer them. Now my son is waking up and needs his momma : )